Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: The Groom's Guide.

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: The Groom's Guide.

Intimate, heartfelt and personal. Your wedding vows should come straight from the soul and represent just how you much you adore each other.

If you’re planning to forgo tradition, and together you’ve decided that writing your own wedding vows is the right thing for you, can we just say bravo! Because that’s exactly what we would do. It’s a brave choice, but one that is so much more special, rewarding & exciting than simply reciting the standard lines.

From the off though, you need to get on the same page as your future wife or husband, and decide on the tone you’re looking to set for the ceremony. You may choose to write your vows together and recite them as one, or you may decide to keep them private and then bask in the warmth of their natural reaction on the big day.

Whether you’re penning your words months in advance or furiously scribbling them hours before the ceremony (not encouraged!), here’s our quick guide to writing your own wedding vows.

Let’s Get Some Ideas Down

The best way to start anything is to make some notes first, the beginnings of a plan. The rest will fall into place once you’ve brought together the main ideas that you want to convey. So grab a long drink at a cosy bar or sit on a bench in a quiet park and start answering these questions.

  • When & where did you first meet?

  • How did you get together?

  • When did you realise she/he was the one?

  • What little details make you smile when you think of him/her?

  • What makes you such a good pairing?

  • What promises do you want to make for a happy marriage?

At this stage, perfect sentences are not important. Just spill your feelings onto the page and work out the grammar later! Once you’ve bared your soul on paper, leave it to one side for a while, this will give you perspective on what you’ve written and in turn help you to pick out the points that you think are the most important. The reason you’re writing your own wedding vows is to make them personal, so don’t rush deciding what you want to say.

“I promise to always take Instagram-worthy pictures of you – as long as it takes – and to ‘like’ every selfie.”

Research & Compare Your Vows

It’s highly likely that this is your first time writing wedding vows and there is no shame in doing a bit of re-con when it comes to the style of writing you want to use. For example modern couples may be promising to never Netflix and Chill with anyone else, whereas the more traditionalists are promising that death is the only thing that will separate them. Each style has a very distinctive tone, and you just have to decide which camp you fall into. Once you have, compare with your partner and make sure he/she is on the same page. The last thing you want is to be promising you’ll always get rid of the spiders, and your partner is vowing to her soul that your hearts will be intertwined together for eternity etc etc! That’s going to cause a bit of a clash, so decide on styles beforehand.

“I promise not to hit you too hard when you’re snoring in the night.”

Take Your Notes & Make Them Vows

Now’s the time to find that beer soaked bar mat you wrote your love notes on, and turn them into wedding vows. From your bullet points, pick out 5-7 of the most important things you want to say to your partner and use them as your foundation when writing the wedding vows. A mix of reasons why you love your partner and promises you want to make, using short sentences and without any complicated words that you might trip up on. Aim for around a minute long and that’ll allow for all the teary pauses you’ll both need to make.

Practice Makes…?

On the big day it would be nice if your wedding vows are memorized, which sounds like a tall order, but if you’ve practised those words and wrestled with each phrase as much as we think you will/should, then it’ll come natural to you. Practice in front of the mirror, or to a good friend and keep practising, keep adjusting and reading aloud until the only one who’ll listen is the dog. Saying those words out loud is the only way you’ll know they’re right. Here’re some tips on how to deliver your Groom speech which could help you out when giving your vows too.

If you’re looking for the ultimate confidence boost when delivering your wedding vows, look no further than a modern groom suit from Freeborn Weddings! Take a moment and browse our custom wedding suit options for Men and feel free to get in touch if you have any questions.